Memo

To: Ms. Moody
From: Chris Villani
9/15/09 6:33 pm

The peer review I received from Chris Burkhart was extremely helpful. I was glad to hear that the introduction engaged the reader; therefore, I will not have to worry about trying to make the writing catchier. It was also relieving to see that my reader thought the main point of my memoir was the divorce of my parents. This was good to know because the divorce was, in fact, the main idea I was trying to convey. My reader did not, however, notice the exposition in my introduction. Rereading my introduction, I see that I need to add some background information. I am going to include the fact that I had lived in the same Atlanta household all of my life as the exposition in my memoir. If I include that, the reader would be able to see why moving away was going to be so hard for me. Furthermore, hearing that the introduction contained lots of detail and I was not redundant was encouraging. In previous English classes and essays, I have been told that my work usually lacks detail and feels repetitive. Because of my tendencies, I will stress to use different word selection and include detail when necessary.

The last questions from the peer review were helpful for the rest of my memoir. The person who reviewed my introduction was asked to tell me where I need more detail, and his suggestion for improvement. Both of these questions were answered similarly. I was told to include more detail at the conflict, or detail about the divorce. Detail about the struggles I faced because of the divorce is going to be key points in the body paragraphs of my memoir. I will include specific situations I remember from the divorce, and I will also write about the splitting as I look back on it today.

Overall, this peer review was extremely helpful. Looking at the comments has helped me further understand what I am trying to accomplish with the memoir. I will try to fix everything that my reader thinks needs improvement, and I will include lots of detail.