Brainstorm three (3) phenomena observed or encountered on campus for your commentary’s subject.
1. I could write my commentary on the amount of people that smoke on campus.
2. My commentary could be about banning the peronal transportation methods on campus (bikes, skateboards, and scooters).
3. I could also write about the parking situation on campus.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Memoir Final Draft
My Parents’ Divorce
It was a winter night in December, and my brothers and I were upstairs in our rooms. We lived at the top of a big hill: 3507 Vintage Trail in a neighborhood called The Fairways. This was a three-story house, including the basement, in suburban Atlanta, Georgia. I had lived my entire life in that house and, in my fifth grade mind, I had no plans on leaving. That was until my parents hollered for us to meet them downstairs. My brothers and I were just little kids anxiously waiting for Christmas to come, and hoping school would never start again. Once we heard the yelling of our parents, my twin brother, Nick, younger brother, Alex, and I took off running. Everything was a race between us, whether it was finishing dinner, doing our homework, or just sprinting down the staircase; we were always competing. I went down the first five carpet steps, took a hard right turn, down the next twenty or so, took the last right turn, and leaped for the ground, skipping the last few steps. I had won the race, like normal, and turned to point and laugh at my brothers still flying down the stairs. But when I turned around and saw my mom and dad at opposite ends of the fireplace telling us to sit between them, I knew something was wrong. My mom looked sad, and my dad, in his Christmas-like red button down long-sleeved shirt, hugged Alex. The fire burned behind our backs, and I was nervous and scared to find out what was going on. My mom then turned to us and told us that she was going to divorce my father. When I heard those words, I could not look up any longer. I fixed my eyes on my chocolate lab, Coco, and realized what just happened. My mom went on to tell us that she was going to take me and my brothers with her to live in her hometown of Tampa, Florida, but assured us “everything was going to be alright.” My life just took a dive, and I knew everything was not going to be alright; I was leaving my dad, friends, house, and everything else. Moving to Florida was going to be emotional and stressful but, in the end, a learning experience.
Moments after my mom spilled the terrible news, my brothers and I were excused from the “family meeting” and we went back upstairs. This time, however, there was no racing. Once upstairs, Alex and I met Nick in his room because it was in the middle. We all gathered on Nick’s big green bed and cried together. “I can’t believe what just happened,” Nick said, “What are we going to do Chris?” “I don’t know,” I replied. Nick, still with tears in his large brown eyes, went on to say, “What if I do not want to leave dad, or at least Georgia? I want to stay here with all of my friends.” “Me too Nick, I would love to stay here, but we can’t because mom and dad don’t love one another anymore,” I said. Nick angrily replied, “But mom never told us why she decided to divorce dad and she never said she did not love him!” “Nick,” I said, “I know this is extremely hard on us, but there is nothing we can do. We are moving to Florida whether we like it or not.”
The summer before sixth grade was when my family —without my father— moved to Florida. It was a couple weeks before middle school started and I was in a foreign place; I knew my two little brothers and that was it. School came sooner than I expected, or wanted, I cannot remember. Days went by but things were not going well. It was painful seeing other kids with their longtime friends always laughing in the hallway, eating together at lunch, and chatting at their desks before class started. Talking to my dad over the phone each day was painful because I just wanted to be there with him. I remember one of the hardest things was not having my dad hug me and wish me goodnight. Some people may think that such an act is small, but it was my bedtime ritual and suddenly it was gone. Sometimes I cried simply because I missed my old life, but I made sure nobody found out. I did not want anyone, especially my mom, to know the difficulty I had in making the transition to Florida and a new life.
Living in Florida was hard enough, but I was faced with a bigger challenge: being the man of the house. Since I was the oldest sibling, I considered it my duty to help around the house — cleaning, vacuuming, washing dishes, folding laundry, anything that I could possibly do to help my mother. While my brothers played video games, watched television, and went outside, I was doing chores. Don’t get me wrong, I made time to do the fun things like watch television and play games, but I was not able enjoy myself as much as Nick and Alex.
Baseball season started a few weeks into the school year and there was nothing that was going to deter me from playing. Baseball had always been a key part of my life. I had played every year since I was three years old, and I refused to let that change just because I moved to Florida. Tryouts were finally here; I stepped up to the white plate, dug my feet into the hard, brown dirt, and swung away. The batter’s box was my comfort zone. All of my struggles and worries about living in Florida seemed to vanish while on the field. I performed my best and it paid off. Suddenly other kids started to talk to me and it made me feel as if I was not invisible after all. The next day in science class I saw one of the kids that was at tryouts with me. He was a huge kid who hit many home runs the day before. His name was Stephen, and I decided to man up and go sit next to him. We talked about tryouts and got to know each other. The next day Stephen asked me to sit next to him and from that point on we were best friends.
It was a winter night in December, and my brothers and I were upstairs in our rooms. We lived at the top of a big hill: 3507 Vintage Trail in a neighborhood called The Fairways. This was a three-story house, including the basement, in suburban Atlanta, Georgia. I had lived my entire life in that house and, in my fifth grade mind, I had no plans on leaving. That was until my parents hollered for us to meet them downstairs. My brothers and I were just little kids anxiously waiting for Christmas to come, and hoping school would never start again. Once we heard the yelling of our parents, my twin brother, Nick, younger brother, Alex, and I took off running. Everything was a race between us, whether it was finishing dinner, doing our homework, or just sprinting down the staircase; we were always competing. I went down the first five carpet steps, took a hard right turn, down the next twenty or so, took the last right turn, and leaped for the ground, skipping the last few steps. I had won the race, like normal, and turned to point and laugh at my brothers still flying down the stairs. But when I turned around and saw my mom and dad at opposite ends of the fireplace telling us to sit between them, I knew something was wrong. My mom looked sad, and my dad, in his Christmas-like red button down long-sleeved shirt, hugged Alex. The fire burned behind our backs, and I was nervous and scared to find out what was going on. My mom then turned to us and told us that she was going to divorce my father. When I heard those words, I could not look up any longer. I fixed my eyes on my chocolate lab, Coco, and realized what just happened. My mom went on to tell us that she was going to take me and my brothers with her to live in her hometown of Tampa, Florida, but assured us “everything was going to be alright.” My life just took a dive, and I knew everything was not going to be alright; I was leaving my dad, friends, house, and everything else. Moving to Florida was going to be emotional and stressful but, in the end, a learning experience.
Moments after my mom spilled the terrible news, my brothers and I were excused from the “family meeting” and we went back upstairs. This time, however, there was no racing. Once upstairs, Alex and I met Nick in his room because it was in the middle. We all gathered on Nick’s big green bed and cried together. “I can’t believe what just happened,” Nick said, “What are we going to do Chris?” “I don’t know,” I replied. Nick, still with tears in his large brown eyes, went on to say, “What if I do not want to leave dad, or at least Georgia? I want to stay here with all of my friends.” “Me too Nick, I would love to stay here, but we can’t because mom and dad don’t love one another anymore,” I said. Nick angrily replied, “But mom never told us why she decided to divorce dad and she never said she did not love him!” “Nick,” I said, “I know this is extremely hard on us, but there is nothing we can do. We are moving to Florida whether we like it or not.”
The summer before sixth grade was when my family —without my father— moved to Florida. It was a couple weeks before middle school started and I was in a foreign place; I knew my two little brothers and that was it. School came sooner than I expected, or wanted, I cannot remember. Days went by but things were not going well. It was painful seeing other kids with their longtime friends always laughing in the hallway, eating together at lunch, and chatting at their desks before class started. Talking to my dad over the phone each day was painful because I just wanted to be there with him. I remember one of the hardest things was not having my dad hug me and wish me goodnight. Some people may think that such an act is small, but it was my bedtime ritual and suddenly it was gone. Sometimes I cried simply because I missed my old life, but I made sure nobody found out. I did not want anyone, especially my mom, to know the difficulty I had in making the transition to Florida and a new life.
Living in Florida was hard enough, but I was faced with a bigger challenge: being the man of the house. Since I was the oldest sibling, I considered it my duty to help around the house — cleaning, vacuuming, washing dishes, folding laundry, anything that I could possibly do to help my mother. While my brothers played video games, watched television, and went outside, I was doing chores. Don’t get me wrong, I made time to do the fun things like watch television and play games, but I was not able enjoy myself as much as Nick and Alex.
Baseball season started a few weeks into the school year and there was nothing that was going to deter me from playing. Baseball had always been a key part of my life. I had played every year since I was three years old, and I refused to let that change just because I moved to Florida. Tryouts were finally here; I stepped up to the white plate, dug my feet into the hard, brown dirt, and swung away. The batter’s box was my comfort zone. All of my struggles and worries about living in Florida seemed to vanish while on the field. I performed my best and it paid off. Suddenly other kids started to talk to me and it made me feel as if I was not invisible after all. The next day in science class I saw one of the kids that was at tryouts with me. He was a huge kid who hit many home runs the day before. His name was Stephen, and I decided to man up and go sit next to him. We talked about tryouts and got to know each other. The next day Stephen asked me to sit next to him and from that point on we were best friends.
Today I spend most of my time sandwiched between two bare Lake Claire dorm walls. I look around and see my Dell computer, a wooden desk, a Sony television, and the ever comfortable twin extra long bed. My shirts are wrinkled, my room is dirty, my face is scruffy. I am free. I am free to live my own life, but the divorce still has its effects me. Both my mom and dad are still single, and they have been apart coming up on seven years. I still wonder, “Why did they divorce to begin with? Maybe they still love one another, and that is why neither has found another wife or husband.” These thoughts are always in the back of my mind, but I have learned to ignore them. Instead, I have moved on, thinking of the whole experience as something positive. Having heard the expression “Everything happens for a reason” countless times in my life, I have finally applied it. If it weren’t for the divorce and move to Florida I would not have challenged myself. I had to grow up, make new friends, and learn to deal with difficult situations. I have become a better man. I am now an independent, smart, and responsible young adult because I was “the man of the house” after the divorce. I believe the divorce experience is helping me in college — I have already gone through meeting new people and caring for myself, so the transition is not alien to me. I have been away from my dad for some time, so I know how to cope with missing and being away from my mom. My parents’ divorce has shown me how I want to live my life when I become a parent. I want to be there for my children; I do not want them to endure what I had to endure — to experience the heartache of being separated from a parent. Above all, the divorce has shown me that when one is faced with a life-altering experience he can either choose to grudgingly accept it, or take it as a challenge and rise above it.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Memoir - Rough Draft
My Parents Divorce
It was a winter night sometime in December, and my brothers and I were upstairs. We lived at the top of a big hill, 3507 Vintage Trail was the address, in a neighborhood called: The Fairways. This was a three-story house, including the basement, in suburban Atlanta, Georgia. I had lived my entire life in that house, and in my fifth grade mind, I had no plans on leaving. That is until my parents hollered for us to meet them downstairs. My brothers and I were just little kids, anxiously waiting for Christmas to come, and hoping school would never start again. Once we heard the yelling of our parents, my twin brother, Nick, and younger brother, Alex, took off. Everything was a race between my brothers and me, weather it was finishing dinner, doing our homework, or just going down the staircase, we were battling. I went down the first five carpet steps, took a hard right turn, down the next twenty or so, took the last right turn, and leaped for the ground, skipping the last few steps. I had won the race, like normal, and turned to point and laugh at my brothers still flying down the stairs. But when I turned around and saw my mom and dad at opposite ends of the fireplace telling us to sit between them, I knew something was wrong. My mom looked sad, and my dad, with his Christmas-like red button down long-sleeved shirt, hugged Alex. The fire burned behind our backs, and I was nervous and scared to find out what was going on. My mom then turned to us and told us that she was going to divorce my father. When I heard these words, I could not look up any longer. I fixed my eyes on my chocolate lab, Coco, and realized what just happened. My mom went on to tell us that she was going to take my brothers and I with her to live in her hometown, Tampa, Florida, but assured us “everything was going to be alright.” My life just took a dive, and I knew everything was not going to be alright. I was leaving my dad, my friends, house, everything, and it was extremely tough. Soon thereafter, my brothers and I were excused from the “family meeting” and we went back upstairs. This time, however, there was no racing. Once upstairs, Alex and I met Nick in his room because it was in the middle. We all gathered on Nick’s big green bed and cried together.
“I can’t what just happened” Nick said. “What are we going to do Chris?” “I don’t know.” I replied. Nick, still with tears in his big brown eyes, went on to say, “Would if I do not want to leave dad, or at least Georgia? I want to stay here with all of my friends.” “Me too Nick, I would love to stay here, but we can’t because mom and dad don’t love one another anymore.” I said. Nick replied, with anger, by saying, “But mom never told us why she decided to divorce dad, nor did she ever say she did not love him!” “Nick,” I said, “I know this is extremely hard on us, but there is nothing we can do. We are moving to Florida whether we like it or not.”
The summer before my sixth grade was when my family, without my father, moved to Florida. It was a couple weeks before middle school started, and I was in a foreign place. I knew my two little brothers and that was about it. School came sooner than I expected and or wanted, I cannot remember. Days went by but things were not going well. It was painful seeing other kids with their longtime friends in the hallway, eating at those nasty circular lunch tables, and in desks throughout my different classrooms. It was also painful talking to my dad over the phone each day because I just wanted to be there with him. I remember one of the hardest things was not having my dad hug and wish me goodnight. Some people think that’s something small, but it was a big deal because I had it the first twelve years of my life. Sometimes I cried, just because I missed my old life, but I made sure nobody would find out. I did not anyone to know, especially my mom, that it was really difficult trying to make the transition to Florida.
Living in Florida was hard alone, but I was also faced with a bigger challenge. Because I was the oldest sibling, I considered myself as the man of the house. My mom could not possibly do everything by herself, so I felt like it was my job to help. While my brothers played video games, watched television, and did their homework, I was doing chores around the house. Cleaning dishes, washing clothes, vacuuming, you name it, and I knew how to do it in sixth grade. Don’t get me wrong, I made time to do the fun things like watch TV and play games, but I was not able to as much as Nick and Alex.
Most of my free time ended up getting spent on sports a few weeks into the young school year. It was baseball season, and there was no way I was not going to play. Baseball had been a key part of my life. I had played every year since I was three years old, and the one thing that was not going to change because of my move to Florida was going to be baseball. Tryouts were finally here; I stepped up to the white plate, dug my feet into the hard, brown dirt, and swung away. The batter’s box was my comfort zone. All of my struggles and worries about living in Florida seemed to vanish while on the field. I performed my best, and boy did it pay off. Suddenly other kids started to talk to me, and it made me feel as if I was not invisible after all. The next day, in science class, I saw one of the kids that were at tryouts with me. He was a huge kid who hit many home runs the day before. Stephen was his name, and I decided to man up and go sit next to him. We talked about tryouts, and got to know each other. The next day Stephen asked me to sit next to him and from that point on, I had a best friend.
Looking back on my parents’ divorce is still hard. I never knew exactly why my mom wanted to leave my dad in the first place. Both my mom and dad met new people later on, after the splitting. My dad ended up remarrying someone, but that was a huge mistake. My father got a divorce from his new wife, and now he is single again. My mom, on the other hand, was in a relationship for many years. My mother was never happy with her new man, and she just recently broke up with him. So, why does this involve me? I am just hurt and confused as to why my mom and dad ever split up because neither has found happiness. They always seemed happy with one another, as far as I can remember, and of course my brothers and I were happy in Atlanta. But, now I realize everything is for a reason. If it was not for the move to Florida, I would not have challenged myself. I was forced to grow up, make new friends, and learn to deal with difficult situations. I believe I have become a better man since the divorce, and it is helping me in college. I have already gone through meeting new people, and caring for myself, so the transition is not hurting me as much. I have been away from my dad for some time, so I know how to cope with missing my mom. I have an advantage over many other people because I encountered a life altering event as a child, and that event was the divorce of my mother, Tina, and father, Dave.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Memo
To: Ms. Moody
From: Chris Villani
9/15/09 6:33 pm
The peer review I received from Chris Burkhart was extremely helpful. I was glad to hear that the introduction engaged the reader; therefore, I will not have to worry about trying to make the writing catchier. It was also relieving to see that my reader thought the main point of my memoir was the divorce of my parents. This was good to know because the divorce was, in fact, the main idea I was trying to convey. My reader did not, however, notice the exposition in my introduction. Rereading my introduction, I see that I need to add some background information. I am going to include the fact that I had lived in the same Atlanta household all of my life as the exposition in my memoir. If I include that, the reader would be able to see why moving away was going to be so hard for me. Furthermore, hearing that the introduction contained lots of detail and I was not redundant was encouraging. In previous English classes and essays, I have been told that my work usually lacks detail and feels repetitive. Because of my tendencies, I will stress to use different word selection and include detail when necessary.
The last questions from the peer review were helpful for the rest of my memoir. The person who reviewed my introduction was asked to tell me where I need more detail, and his suggestion for improvement. Both of these questions were answered similarly. I was told to include more detail at the conflict, or detail about the divorce. Detail about the struggles I faced because of the divorce is going to be key points in the body paragraphs of my memoir. I will include specific situations I remember from the divorce, and I will also write about the splitting as I look back on it today.
Overall, this peer review was extremely helpful. Looking at the comments has helped me further understand what I am trying to accomplish with the memoir. I will try to fix everything that my reader thinks needs improvement, and I will include lots of detail.
From: Chris Villani
9/15/09 6:33 pm
The peer review I received from Chris Burkhart was extremely helpful. I was glad to hear that the introduction engaged the reader; therefore, I will not have to worry about trying to make the writing catchier. It was also relieving to see that my reader thought the main point of my memoir was the divorce of my parents. This was good to know because the divorce was, in fact, the main idea I was trying to convey. My reader did not, however, notice the exposition in my introduction. Rereading my introduction, I see that I need to add some background information. I am going to include the fact that I had lived in the same Atlanta household all of my life as the exposition in my memoir. If I include that, the reader would be able to see why moving away was going to be so hard for me. Furthermore, hearing that the introduction contained lots of detail and I was not redundant was encouraging. In previous English classes and essays, I have been told that my work usually lacks detail and feels repetitive. Because of my tendencies, I will stress to use different word selection and include detail when necessary.
The last questions from the peer review were helpful for the rest of my memoir. The person who reviewed my introduction was asked to tell me where I need more detail, and his suggestion for improvement. Both of these questions were answered similarly. I was told to include more detail at the conflict, or detail about the divorce. Detail about the struggles I faced because of the divorce is going to be key points in the body paragraphs of my memoir. I will include specific situations I remember from the divorce, and I will also write about the splitting as I look back on it today.
Overall, this peer review was extremely helpful. Looking at the comments has helped me further understand what I am trying to accomplish with the memoir. I will try to fix everything that my reader thinks needs improvement, and I will include lots of detail.
Monday, September 14, 2009
Intro Draft
My Parents Divorce
It was a winter night sometime in December, and my brothers and I were upstairs. My brothers and I were little elementary school kids, anxiously waiting for Christmas to come, and hoping school would never start again. Then we heard our parents holler for us to come downstairs. My twin brother, Nick, younger brother, Alex, and I took off. Everything was a race between my brothers and me, weather it was finishing dinner, doing our homework, or just going down the staircase, we were battling. I went down the first five carpet steps, took a hard right turn, down the next twenty or so steps, took the last right turn, and leaped for the ground, skipping the last few steps. I had won the race, like normal, and turned to point and laugh at my brothers still flying down the stairs. But when I turned around and saw my mom and dad at opposite ends of the fireplace telling us to sit between them, I knew something was wrong. My mom looked sad, and my dad, with his Christmas-like red button down long-sleeved shirt, hugged Alex. The fire burned behind our backs, and I was nervous and scared to find out what was going on. My mom then turned to us and told us that she was going to divorce my father. When I heard these words, I could not look up any longer. I fixed my eyes on my chocolate lab, Coco, and realized what just happened. My mom went on to tell us that she was going to take my brothers and I with her to live in her hometown, Tampa, Florida, but assured us “everything was going to be alright.” My life just took a dive, and I knew everything was not going to be alright. I was leaving my dad, my friends, everything, and it was extremely tough. Soon thereafter, my brothers and I were excused from the “family meeting” and we went back upstairs. This time, however, there was no racing. Once upstairs, Alex and I met Nick in his room where we gathered on his big green bed and cried together.
I was hoping to accomplish attractiveness with this introduction. I hope the reader will find the writing catchy, and make him or her want to keep reading. I also included lots of detail so the reader could get a feel for the setting, characters, and I hope it will make them feel like they are a part of the action.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Invention Process
1. Parents divorce
What is it about?
In December 2001, my parents told my brothers and I that they were going to get divorced. They told us that we were going to finish fifth grade in Atlanta, Georgia, then my mom was going to take my brothers and I with her to Tampa, Florida.
So what?
The splitting of my parents was the biggest and worst thing that had and has ever happened to me. I was forced to leave my father, house, friends, and school and move to Florida. I left the easy life and I was thrown into a complete disaster.
2. Grandparent's Deaths
What is it about?
In November 2005, my grandma died of Alzheimer's disease. Then in January 2006, my grandpa died. My grandpa supported my grandma for about eight years with her disease. My grandpa was a healthy man when he passed, and our family believes he died so he could be with grandma once again.
So what?
Looking back on my grandparent's deaths, I realize that my grandpa was the single greatest man I had and probably will ever encounter. He was a great grandpa, husband, and father. Grandpa put his life on hold to help his wife with her disease. My grandpa is my role model, and he taught me many life lessons.
3. Baseball or football?
What is it about?
My freshman year of high school came with a big question, "Should I play baseball or football?" Both sports were a great part of my life, but living in Florida, these sports were year long activities. After days of thinking, I chose baseball as my high school sport.
So What?
Baseball and football was my life. Choosing baseball was a turning point in life because it was a learning experience. This taught me how to make big decisions, and I learned that everything ha s its positives and negatives.
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